Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah

Dear Mother Nature,

That was some crazy big hail the other day, but seriously, that was a bit melodramatic don't you think? And really going from 40 degrees to almost 80 is sort of bipolar. I commend you for the slight rise in average temperature, and also the blooming trees but could you possibly nix the humidity? After all people breathe air not water. While we're getting everything out in the open, do you think you might be able to schedule the nice weather on the weekends instead of solely during normal working hours? And maybe try to redirect the swarming insects away from my bike path. I understand protein is necessary for my general health but I'd rather not get it from bugs colliding with the back of my throat as I ride along the lake. In conclusion I promise that if you take in to consideration my requests I promise to continue recycling and carpooling as often as I can.

Yours Truly,

Marilyn

Dear Father Time,

I only have one request, could you possibly add in two extra hours to each day. I'm not sure what scientific algorithm it would entail but if it's possible I would really appreciate it. My theory is that we reposition the Earth a few million miles further away from the sun, thus making days and years go by a bit slower. This would give me more time to train during each day and also make August seem a bit further away allowing me to better prepare for the Triathlon. In addition this would create a more manageable temperature in the Summer, I can't handle the heat as you may know, plus it could help us with that whole global warming thing. Talk to Mother Nature about it, I'm thinking it would be a win/ win situation. Of course we can move the Earth back in the Fall because I also strongly dislike the cold. I feel it's also worth mentioning that I could always use more sleep... more hours in the day would allow me to get to bed at a decent hour and possibly be less likely to write letters of complaint to fictional entities like yourself. Anyhow think it over, I think it could work.

Warmest Regards,

Marilyn